Either I find friends who are like me or who are nothing like me, most of the time I pull different kinds to me some times. To find friends, one must look for similar minded people, especially during youth. We are able to assume that having a best friend is somehow preferable to having several close friendships with no hierarchy of preference.
In any class of kids, you’ll see the uncommon bunch of outgoing children and people who prefer to play by themselves or in smaller groups. But being sociable in itself is not the only prophet of developing friendships, new investigation suggests that kids who are drawn to other people who are like themselves who are drawn to other people different from themselves) are tend to be more likely to have good friends and to have good friends if they don’t have them already.
The researchers observed fifth and sixth grade kids as they made, lost and sought friendships over the period of a little more than a year. One group of kids had best friends at the start and best friends at the end of the study period, a second group had no best friend at the start but a best friend at the end. A third group, for whom we may now shed a silent tear, had no best friends at either the beginning or the end of the study period.
The researchers found that compared to the kids who never had a best friend, the children who always had best friends and those who acquired best friends when they didn’t have one tended to be those who were drawn to others just like themselves or to use the lingo of the academics, these kids were drawn to “similar others.”
I speak at length in The Hidden Brain about how the friendship-formations of kids are one of the earliest examples of the hidden brain at work and how, without anyone intending it, friendships are shaped by unconscious biases. Having a close friend from another race, researchers have found, is one of the best predictors of a sympathetic worldview toward the other race in general, whereas not having close friends from another race tends to close the door to a generous view.
The fact that children who make friends easily are drawn to others like themselves is an example of how something that has clearly positive benefits, the ability to make friends also has a side to it that is less attractive. It also shows why we are stuck with many of the biases that dog us everyday. The same thing that helps us make friends (being drawn to other people like ourselves) can also prompt us to close our minds to those from other groups.
No one would advise that kids stop making friends, or end enjoying the corporation of people who share the same interests. The only approach to eliminate the bad with no removing the good is to supplement our unconscious bias to be drawn to other people who are like ourselves by consciously encouraging ourselves and our kids to create friendships with those who are different in all types of ways.
It also relies on where we are and what' s happening, kids are different than adults too, some kids have hard times making friends and when they become adults they have a lot of friends and a few best friends. Most of us want to hang with people like ourselves, and we don't want to spend our leisure time with people who are so different from us or argue all the time.
Copyright by Lucy, a beautiful girl who likes swimming, shopping online and has a shop with coach purses and oakley m frames.
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