The Third Stage of Tiger Woods Syndrome

Imagine if today’s men used this revolutionary concept of candor in dating. Our society would be strengthened with healthy relationships. Instead of desperately searching for somebody to accept his romantic overtures, the healthy man would defer his need for instant gratification and use the dating process to select likely partners among those women of compatible temperament and like interests.

The people who have the third stage of Tiger Woods Syndrome choose between their aged life based on fake intimacy. For lots of guys this is a simple option as their aged life was a mess.

Such was the miserable example of actress Brittany Murphy and Simon Monjack. Simon Monjack left behind quite a checkered past. He never told Brittany about the two children he had fathered from two prior liasons. According to US Magazine,  he also left behind two warrants  for his arrest in Virginia for alleged credit card fraud and theft, an unpaid about $6088 legal bill, about $20,001 in unpaid debt to his former fiancee, a half million dollar judgement against him by a British investment firm and a stint in jail for overstaying his visa.

If poor Brittany had known of his past, she would have understood his sudden desire to get married to avoid deportation. If she had known how he told his prior fiancee he had bought her a diamond ring but it was actually cubic zirconium, she would have known to stay about 9 miles away from this deceptive man.

Unfortunately, in the third stage of Tiger Woods Syndrome small details like a criminal record and deceit are ignored as the relationship builds momentum leading to the peak known as the Honeymoon stage. Cautions from friends are ignored as the couple becomes increasingly isolated. This works out perfectly for the sociopaths and con men.

In an earlier America, courtship was used to link honest men and women of compatible temperaments and shared interests and weed out mismatches. There was no need for guile, for withholding the reality of each other until some far-off day after irreversible commitment was made. It looks hard to believe, but once upon a time Americans did not fear the truth.

In the 1800s, the prospective bride and groom were integrated into each other’s life. If one could not abide the friends and relations, it was considered proof of incompatibility and the relationship would be terminated. That was the point of courtship. Instead of dating like an ostrich with one’s head in the sand, the fact that two people might not be compatible for a lifetime commitment was faced with eyes wide open. Early Americans knew that a person’s friends were a mirror of their true self.

We had an example of Brittany Murphy. Within months of starting another relationship with a factual outlander she was staying together with him and ignored the words of her partners and friends. Only a few weeks after starting to see each other they shocked partners and friends by marrying in a secret house. Only then did the real Simon Monjack start to emerge. Ladies, love at first sight is a fantasy. Get to know your guy before you have to bail him out of jail and pay off his debts.

If we can only look at the person we’re dating pasts or history to determine if they’re good candidates. We should look at them as if we were employers trying to hire them for a job. Where we can go and call their exes as a reference. We’re not going to hire someone that got fired for stealing, always getting to work late and or being lazy. Choosing a partner is thee or one of thee most important decisions we make in our lives. Why not take the time to make a wise decision. There are so many people out there; it doesn’t necessarily mean that they are all choices. Some people are clearly not an option.