Is Only Child Happier?

I have a brother who is one year younger than me. Due to the closeness in age we hated one another growing up. But now that we’re adults, I’m really happy we have one another. We both grew up using ASL at home, also it’s nice to have the ability to keep up our native language.

You know that stereotype of a snotty, spoiled only kid?  The child who never learns how to share or socialize and acts way too grown up for the reason that they never get any playtime with other kids?  Well seemingly, that’s bullshit.  The Observer ran a report from the understanding society study in France that found only kids to be happier kids.  And the more sisters and brothers they had, the less happy they were.

Researchers are hypothesizing many reasons for this sibling-induced unhappiness.  The biggest reason seems to be everyone’s favorite issue, bullying, with approximately 30% of children being called “nasty names” by their siblings.  The other culprits seem to be lack of privacy and competition for parental attention.

While these findings may run against preconceived notions, they aren’t illogical.  As a child, I had plenty of arguments with my older brothers and sisters.  And when I was in middle school, I was more likely to tell you that my brother smelled and never let me play with him and his friends then about the time he scared the crap out of the boy at my bus stop who was making lewd and icky comments to me every morning.  Seriously, Nicky, I can still see the look of terror in that boy’s eyes as you drove away!  And he never spoke to me again.  Thank you!

For a long time, parents have worried that only children lagged behind their peers socially.  My grandmother once told me that you should have at least 4 children, because every girl deserved a sister and every boy deserved a brother.  I never asked what happened if you got 3 girls and 1 boy.  Back to the science, if I remember right, several studies proved this theory to be untrue.  Now, it looks like single-child families are the psychological winners.  But I think this may be another stereotype that withers away as children age.  I may have complained that Nicky smelled when I was younger (I think teenage angst has a very distinct odor), but now I appreciate having an older brother.  He gets to help with my parents’ 30th anniversary party and we can drink too much together at family gatherings.  Every once in a while we have long talks on a drive to visit our grandparents and my daughter will frequently steal my cell phone to call Uncle Nick.

I’m not saying that just kid is inevitably better than another, but I think the pros and cons might even out as we get elder.  Sure I might have been picked on more, but now I have sisters and brothers to support me and care about me.  As my parent’s get older, I’ll have help, should I need to help look after them.  And most importantly, whether we argue or disagree, I have brothers and sisters who love me.  I’ve never been an only kid, so I don’t know the way they feel about it all.  But I’m interested in searching for!  Do you think having brothers and sisters helps kids grow or results in sad bickering?  Are only kids really the happiest of all of them?

I don’t think there’s anything incorrect with being an only kid, but my brothers and I are close in ways I could never be with anybody else. They are the only people who consistently call me out when I’m bullshitting, for instance. Yes, we fought when we were younger - still do sometimes, in reality. But we’ve turned out to be better friends as we’ve grown up, and it’s surprising how similar and unusual we are.